The rising and descending of emotions

I often ponder about the reason where certain ages must be related to certain emotions... when it starts with single digits - pure happiness, when it starts with two digits with  number '1' as the start - you should not give in to emotions at all, when the digits start with '2' people started questioning whether the person had any emotions at all... Is there something wrong with the person's emotions? Why she never seem to have any special one around her... It is tiring to accommodate the inquiries... the chatters behind.... Can't I be who I am as I please? Can I not cherish just one special person, but everyone that I know and appreciate... I'm sick of being humiliated, questioned with weird looks... Yes, I am what I am, I know how to love, and love to be loved, but it is just that I couldn't just love a person... That special one is no where to be found yet... Can't i be left in isolation? don't I deserve to love someone i really love? the more i ponder the more i think that Romeo and Juliet love never exist in reality, it is just mere infatuations. What is there to love...? building fantasies out of reality doesn't work... the feeling is temporary... Love is never equal... From what I observe and reflect, love is just a one sided feeling... the other part is of giving in and infatuations... Pronouncing love, after years of looking at each other in the faces... there wouldn't be anything but responsibilities and commitments and continuing the species... Then, the role of love is over... It is not that I condemn this universal truth, it is just that because of this cycle, the species within the species speculate... some in frustration rebel, some remain silent and follow the cycle, some became the talk of the other so - called commoners.. Thinking hard isn't bad, thinking about lots of stuff isn't bad either... it makes me views things clearer instead of being knocked out or jumping in the bandwagon without further clarification... maybe I'll jump in the bandwagon too, but with a clearer mind... maybe I will not be jumping in at all... thus, becoming the talk of a small town... the twisted roots threaten to choke... hidden within the soils of the planet... once succeed..pull all the nutrients out of our body... as it is a mere entity to generate more entities...  

Southern Panorama

South island trip was very relaxing... It felt weird at first when there is nothing to worry about, nothing to be upset about, nothing to disappoint...
there was still enough snow for us to fool around.... both extreme weathers came together so summer-ish and yet so frosty... It was worth the trip... Waking up late in the mornings to a three - days non - stop rain showers... It was cold and hot at the same time minus the humidity... lips dried up fast... the road was sometimes a desert to my eye, or even a dessert with snow capped mountains that look like frosty pudding with whipped cream toppings... the fields were filled with yellow patches of flowers, I wonder whether they are buttercups... 
the lakes and waterfalls were amazing... our campervan cruised through the winding roads where sneak peeks could be seen of all the wonderful creeks, rapids and cute little one-way bridges where a full view of the valley or canyon could be seen... Arthur's Pass was amazing... You need not stop.. cause the roads are too winding... capturing glimpses of it from the car was great... Many a time, along the roads where small 'scenic view lookout' areas were spotted, old elderly couples were seen huddling cosily in their fold -able chairs, sipping hot coffee whilst they lost themselves with awe to the picturesque views residing so peacefully among the mountain range... It was a bliss... Would love to do that when I retire...( a not too long future)... I thank god for the chances that I had gotten... to see the lovelier side of god's creation... No ugliness, just tranquility and peace which could wash people's minds of any evil... Maybe it is the location... where nature are abundant, people have less evil thoughts... less misdeeds are committed... less complicated society... My thoughts may be old, but I yearned for this sort of lifestyle... No anxiety, no hidden meanings in life... just a straightforward life where people are happy because they are really happy and not because they will feel weird when they aren't happy... We want to be happy in so many ways, but the simplest way to be happy is to be in that state without realising it...
I thank god that I could meet people who were so kind in their hospitality... their warmth makes it feel like home.. the feeling of goodness itself is a home.. sleeping and cooking in a campervan was truly amazing... a hard to come by experience... I thank god for that too.. I am thankful that there are so many people around me who could guide me and protect me from the brutal reality... It is this wonderful blessing that I am grateful for...

To all who spam my shoutbox

I'm not worth spamming... What fun is it to spam my shout box? what benefit will you get? people live once and only once only, why bother to copy thoughts from strangers' lives? Isn't our own lives worth it enough to be copying other people's thoughts? to all these people.. get a life!!! Live your life well so that others will automatically flood your blog because of interest not because of tricks... I'm blogging in my own small world, with nothing to be ashamed, and nothing worth feeling embarrassed, i stand on my own two feet with my own pride, my own thoughts and my own principles... No one in the world is the same, besides what's the benefit of copying... it's just a mere delusion...