Lovely Dawn....

Actually, it wasn't lovely untill your message popped out saying "Hi"
It was a freezing night... nothing much to do except flipping through webpages...
and you came...
It was nice...
i couldn't really tell how excited i got when u're making an effort to contact me...
I thought that it's fading away silently...
that feeling...
and i will, cross oceans once again...
to find a stranger's smile...
we'll never be as close again...
 but that night, on that particular night a few days ago...
you reminded me of how i felt about you...
maybe it is just a friendly gesture,
but it ignites the amber that is turning cold...
i hope it would continue sparkling, as i no longer have the drive to keep things up for long,
as i feel that nothing is permanent except to move along...

winter would be long this time... will you be that long too?
it's a draggy one out there...
my soul can no longer bear the weight of waiting so silently....so ever silently... as the old cracks are so hauntingly crumbling, not because of old cracks, but the presence of new roots taking over... and i hope these new roots wouldn't break it further...

Winter...

Winter is here... It's chilly yet assuring... that the best moments will come with the feathers that had freezed in the lake... Like a mirror of reflection, the feather a frozen ripple... My steps taken forward by the swirls of ice cold kisses from the wind... What i've felt during this winter...it is great to look forward to what that has been prepared in the front, in the next upcoming season... My heart waits unsurely for something that could give it joy.... A soothing pat of peace and calmness... 

 It doesn't really feel like winter here as there is no snow...no white coated roads... no frozen tufts on the ground... it's just the wind that blows of winter reminding us of its arrival... the leaves shaken and fallen... Bare trunks and twigs seen... that's all that tells us the story of the winter... other than that, it feels good to walk in the park on a day during winter....

Twisted minds...

Just because i brushed my teeth at 4am doesn't mean that i'm wasted or anything... Hey, I've my values and principles which makes me different from your culture... If someone brushes their teeth at 4am in the morning there will be two different interpretations.
The one in Malaysia would be: 'must have been up to burn the midnight oil for her assignments, that's why la, last minute work...'
The one in Huia would be: 'She must be out hooking up with someone, went to some party and come back puffy eyed, but hmmm, i wonder why she isn't drunk...can't really judge a person by her innocent face...'
Every abnormal habit would be given a twisted interpretation... What great minds they have....
Every single thing we do must be related to the topic that i would not mention here... Can't they believe what they have just saw is that simple without any ambiguities?
Well, life is full of ambiguities, but this is just a little way too overboard....

Searching around...

A red leaf with autumn's last raindrop...
It's hard to find...
Amongst the growing pile of yellowish ones,
I came across on my way to the library...

the scent of the breeze, carries a frosty perfume...
it's getting chilly now...
I heard someone shouted:
"It's the dawn of winter!"

The Window...

The window shuts so ever tightly...
Because it's autumn, and the wind's chilly...

The trees wave so carefreely at the wind so violently...

A contradictory...

I see watching the sky rolling on in waves of clouds, rumbling on...
like a clam from beneath the ocean,

watching the torrents,

going in swirls of mist and frost...

a beautiful evening...

turning from tangerine grey to purple spray...

from my hard shelly shelter,

i gaze whole day...

Uncertain...

When you feel happy about something you have never felt before... It is sometimes not a very real feeling of happiness, it passes away so quickly... the feelings, are they true even at that moment of pleasure? They are gone as how a breeze touches you nose... a sense, a swipe of it ends as if it never comes... The existance itself is a sense... When you hav it u get to have luxuries of colliding with senses all around, when you don't, the sense itself is empty... A shell without feeling, but do we exploit our sense to enquire the genuine sense of the surroundings? We never even know what genuine senses are anyway... The poets and writers have described them so every vividly.. But in their sense itself is it really the exact senses they have experienced? it's all about living near a thermal place... You heard people saying it is hot, there shouldn't be any hands dippping into it, but you never try cause the consequences have proven it all..You do not want to experience that consequences to get the sense of it yourself...
That is why i sometimes feel not the reality of realities...

May the soul of Sathya Sai Baba live among us who have faith in him, a godfather of my birth whom my mother had taken Him to be... Om Sai Ram....

Sense of security...

Where is that feeling... I've lost it to the cold of winter, the withered leaves of autumn, the creek of spring, and the waves of summer... where it had been lost, near the flower bed, by the stream, among the rocks, carried away by ripples... I couldn't see for once, the changing of tides, as day combines with night, when the nightingale sings its heart out, to the glaring sun which pierce deep into the down feather... where is it kept, by father of time, mother of seasons, granny of the past and grandpa of the present... it's in a ball, curled, frozen, forgotten, knowing its time of glory had passed... waiting for the True Spring where it will bud again... Hoping...