where's the soul when i need it... This world is full of worries... Those yearned are not possible, fight to make them possible... Double the dosage and multiply it...soon it''l bear the fruits of labour... hard, cool stabbing are numb to feel... morning glory seen only through a peek from the shady birches...wave it through to intertwining tendrils...you'll find that eclipse ended to soon for a cloud that blankets it... can wee fight for our fate?
dearest closest to the soul in mind... deepens the roots of mines...full of aspiration...i hope the blue wins...my likeness of it hoping to close the similarity...maybe cloning it... God is the greatest truth i could bear... fighting...keep on fighting...til bones are bare... water turns the liquor mist... fight...fight....fight on... there's no turning backwards as it is towards the front...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Things that do not last long...
1. My sandals...the sole broke off...worn out...
replace a brand new pair of new ones...rm15...cheap...worth it...
thanks to the promotion...
2. my ring file
battered edges...still usable...
destinated to be replace during my first year degree...
3. newpapers
most of the time...i keep it..but gave it away for friends in need of materials...so my collection is constantly changing...
4. my bedside lamp
replacing it last tuesday doesnt help...break down again yesterday...#some things are meant to break#
5. my dinner tonight
ooh well for all the aromatic smell of it...i had to chew and swallow it to ease my hunger... no more aroma...and delicious food.... more of a curd in my intestine...
Things are always replaceble... still some can be recycled...
i wonder if.... that could be recycled too???
replace a brand new pair of new ones...rm15...cheap...worth it...
thanks to the promotion...
2. my ring file
battered edges...still usable...
destinated to be replace during my first year degree...
3. newpapers
most of the time...i keep it..but gave it away for friends in need of materials...so my collection is constantly changing...
4. my bedside lamp
replacing it last tuesday doesnt help...break down again yesterday...#some things are meant to break#
5. my dinner tonight
ooh well for all the aromatic smell of it...i had to chew and swallow it to ease my hunger... no more aroma...and delicious food.... more of a curd in my intestine...
Things are always replaceble... still some can be recycled...
i wonder if.... that could be recycled too???
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
......
这里的景色叫做曾经爱过 不曾在你的拥抱和温柔 撕开票根独自重游 票价是想念你的痛 你说做朋友并不是朋友 我们比路人还陌生得多 感情的废墟不曾建过 谁会偶尔回来走走 我站在回忆的入口 蒐集我左胸口暴走的寂寞 赤裸裸的失落 一目了然的痛 让我无法说泪是因为吹风 我沿着命运的箭头 无奈向前走到下个人的怀中 爱你还没爱过 你却要我放 过 谁懂在时间的秘密花园中 你从没走
该死，是我自作多情。
我相信我一定会把你忘掉。
该死，是我自作多情。
我相信我一定会把你忘掉。
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Bookish Obsession...
Recently, i've been (still is) obsessed about Twilight saga...Haha... Actually i had caught the vampire fever since the book was first spotted in the hands of my friends... The craze that time was extreme...I had given up hope waiting to read it last semester as many were taking turns to get it... i've waited till this sem...Looks like i had my luck this time... finish the first and the second book (new moon)...vampire love story...romance stuff and all... I'm quite surprise that i've looked forward to this love flick... Maybe i'm fascinated by the goodie vampires and werewolves...Hmmm... On the surface, it's an enjoyable saga... Still, being the one who is way too down to earth, i could hardly accept the storyline (my personal opinion)...
It has avoided the morale, ethical and religious issue... Trading soul for eternal love??? Hmm... it's quite hard for me to accept though... What about Bella's parents' love? She loves them, but in a way hurts them as they do not know the truth... Imagine their own fresh and blood turns into a vampire, not a humanly human, but a blood sucking being, though not triving on human blood... some kind of ultimate damnation from heaven (in religious context)...an early marriage before college???(in Breaking Dawn) Maybe these issue are something to ponder about, or maybe not...
No hard felt feelings towards Twilight saga fans...Just continue enjoying it... i guess i should enjoy the surface elements of it too... Waiting for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn... Stephenie Meyer's books are addictive...
It has avoided the morale, ethical and religious issue... Trading soul for eternal love??? Hmm... it's quite hard for me to accept though... What about Bella's parents' love? She loves them, but in a way hurts them as they do not know the truth... Imagine their own fresh and blood turns into a vampire, not a humanly human, but a blood sucking being, though not triving on human blood... some kind of ultimate damnation from heaven (in religious context)...an early marriage before college???(in Breaking Dawn) Maybe these issue are something to ponder about, or maybe not...
No hard felt feelings towards Twilight saga fans...Just continue enjoying it... i guess i should enjoy the surface elements of it too... Waiting for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn... Stephenie Meyer's books are addictive...
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A Rainy Day...
After spending a whole day in class doing (and playing) the report that we were supposed to hand up tomorrow...Class ends as usual, the only unusual thing is we didn't have any lectures today, all our lecturers were absent...Such coincidence... A whole morning wasted, because the only meaningful work that we had put in effort to do is still incomplete... -_-!"
It was gloomy the entire day i might say... not much of a sunbeam...The atmosphere was cooling but not quite refreshing as it tend to make me sleepy...I felt numb the whole day in class, don't no what's the matter with me...perhaps it is due to my deprivation of sleep last night... didn't sleep too well...poor me...T-T
The sky was covered with a translucent blanket...Dim light darkened the sky...I was thinking of having my usual lunch at the cafe, but the incident yesterday got me thinking twice before i lift my foot...Pondering for awhile whether to skip lunch or swallow some bread... Indulging deep in my own thoughts, i heard the others discussing about having fast food...Ow gosh, not that McDelivery again!! Hearing it doesn't boost my appetite....I was still thinking about the mouse faeces they had found in the rice at the cafeteria...Eiiiww... I had wanted to puke...Those little droppings of the small scavengers are poisonous for us...
I feel like eating KFC though...thus i spoke my mind...silence... and then screams of enthusiasm by Tzyy Wei, "I want to eat cheesy wedges!" The exclamation started to affect the others too... "Wanna call McDonold's or KFC??"
"Anything" (But I think they had made up their minds to have a go for KFC meals)
All plans were set up so abruptly... The cab was called... Waiting...and waiting for it impatiently... Some instinct kept telling me that we weren't going to be in time for our replacement class at 2.30pm... Droplets of sky juice had started to touch the lips of the black tar road... Gracious, it's even worse...what if we were stuck in the middle of a traffic jam...
Theva said for the fifth time "don't worry la...we'll be in time..."
The cab went pass where we where standing...heading straight towards our hostel...unaware of the waving hands of ours which had tried to get his attention in the misty downpour beside the academic block... but still, two of us had to brave the rain, walking all the way to the hostel and flag down to cab which was waiting impatiently by the warden's house...my baju kurung was partially wet, at least just the bottom part of it were it nearly touches the ground... My worn out high heels had been dampen for ages before we could gratefully hopped into the cab,stop it to fetch the other duos who hadn't come along...
At last, we were speeding towards the nearest KFC... Some friends had also placed orders to have KFC for lunch...So we had quite a load to carry after that...
The queue in the fast food restaurant was a short one to my relief... But it took ages for the waiter to prepare all those that we had ordered... It was still raining outside..but the intensity of droplets per square feet was less denser than before...the drinks were the first to be packed readily... To ensure that we will be in time for Miss Nenny's class two of us went out to stop another cab just to jump in in as soon as theva and tzzy wei got the other meals...
The trip back would have been a good one if it wasn't for the pungent perfume (freshener) the the cab driver had put in his cab...imagine the smell of moist trapped air and the sweat and odours that are in this vehicle...it was totally unbearable...
Extremely sensitive to perfumes...I felt like as if a nausea spell had got into me... I feel dizzy throughout the journey....pleading (in my heart) to reach our campus in lightning speed... I really really hate perfumes... Hate it, simply loath it, any type of it...Erghh...
The next time i hop into a cab..I'll surely ask ''Pak Cik, ada letak perfume tak?'' smiled at him and slam the door if he has one or happily got in, grateful that the cabby doesn't make my traveling miserable with weirdo smells and odours... I can bear sweat odours but please...no perfume at all... I'll vomit my entire stomach if it happens again! Anyway, a compensation to it, a chance to savour KFC fried chicken pieces... Yummy yummy, haven't touch it since the first sem last year... *grateful*...
It was gloomy the entire day i might say... not much of a sunbeam...The atmosphere was cooling but not quite refreshing as it tend to make me sleepy...I felt numb the whole day in class, don't no what's the matter with me...perhaps it is due to my deprivation of sleep last night... didn't sleep too well...poor me...T-T
The sky was covered with a translucent blanket...Dim light darkened the sky...I was thinking of having my usual lunch at the cafe, but the incident yesterday got me thinking twice before i lift my foot...Pondering for awhile whether to skip lunch or swallow some bread... Indulging deep in my own thoughts, i heard the others discussing about having fast food...Ow gosh, not that McDelivery again!! Hearing it doesn't boost my appetite....I was still thinking about the mouse faeces they had found in the rice at the cafeteria...Eiiiww... I had wanted to puke...Those little droppings of the small scavengers are poisonous for us...
I feel like eating KFC though...thus i spoke my mind...silence... and then screams of enthusiasm by Tzyy Wei, "I want to eat cheesy wedges!" The exclamation started to affect the others too... "Wanna call McDonold's or KFC??"
"Anything" (But I think they had made up their minds to have a go for KFC meals)
All plans were set up so abruptly... The cab was called... Waiting...and waiting for it impatiently... Some instinct kept telling me that we weren't going to be in time for our replacement class at 2.30pm... Droplets of sky juice had started to touch the lips of the black tar road... Gracious, it's even worse...what if we were stuck in the middle of a traffic jam...
Theva said for the fifth time "don't worry la...we'll be in time..."
The cab went pass where we where standing...heading straight towards our hostel...unaware of the waving hands of ours which had tried to get his attention in the misty downpour beside the academic block... but still, two of us had to brave the rain, walking all the way to the hostel and flag down to cab which was waiting impatiently by the warden's house...my baju kurung was partially wet, at least just the bottom part of it were it nearly touches the ground... My worn out high heels had been dampen for ages before we could gratefully hopped into the cab,stop it to fetch the other duos who hadn't come along...
At last, we were speeding towards the nearest KFC... Some friends had also placed orders to have KFC for lunch...So we had quite a load to carry after that...
The queue in the fast food restaurant was a short one to my relief... But it took ages for the waiter to prepare all those that we had ordered... It was still raining outside..but the intensity of droplets per square feet was less denser than before...the drinks were the first to be packed readily... To ensure that we will be in time for Miss Nenny's class two of us went out to stop another cab just to jump in in as soon as theva and tzzy wei got the other meals...
The trip back would have been a good one if it wasn't for the pungent perfume (freshener) the the cab driver had put in his cab...imagine the smell of moist trapped air and the sweat and odours that are in this vehicle...it was totally unbearable...
Extremely sensitive to perfumes...I felt like as if a nausea spell had got into me... I feel dizzy throughout the journey....pleading (in my heart) to reach our campus in lightning speed... I really really hate perfumes... Hate it, simply loath it, any type of it...Erghh...
The next time i hop into a cab..I'll surely ask ''Pak Cik, ada letak perfume tak?'' smiled at him and slam the door if he has one or happily got in, grateful that the cabby doesn't make my traveling miserable with weirdo smells and odours... I can bear sweat odours but please...no perfume at all... I'll vomit my entire stomach if it happens again! Anyway, a compensation to it, a chance to savour KFC fried chicken pieces... Yummy yummy, haven't touch it since the first sem last year... *grateful*...
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Guilt...
Guilt is a very strong feeling, it sometimes haunt the entire life of a person... Most would avoid it, but still some who consider themselves "brave" enough to take up the challenge of experiencing the guilt...
Those slaves of darkness possess one, two or all of the three major evil roots - greed, hatred, anger... though unsurprisingly, some of them may have complexions as white as the angel's wings, as soft as the snow, as bright as candles which shine in the dark... Some may have splashes of charcoal which includes them whole in the arena of the devilish...
Yet, I believe that humans, no matter how evil, how merciless, how rotten, how troublesome they are...will surely feel a tickle of conscience in them, maybe just a mild one - the feeling of guilt.
It'll sometimes surface out off the darkest cracks which is deeply rooted in the soul, like a ghoul appearing and disappearing...
Gracious me, just hope that the culprit will be captured and handed over to the just ones to handle... I believe that she'll suffer the guilt for the rest of her life if she isn't punished...
Watch out, god have eyes even if mortals don't have any...
Those slaves of darkness possess one, two or all of the three major evil roots - greed, hatred, anger... though unsurprisingly, some of them may have complexions as white as the angel's wings, as soft as the snow, as bright as candles which shine in the dark... Some may have splashes of charcoal which includes them whole in the arena of the devilish...
Yet, I believe that humans, no matter how evil, how merciless, how rotten, how troublesome they are...will surely feel a tickle of conscience in them, maybe just a mild one - the feeling of guilt.
It'll sometimes surface out off the darkest cracks which is deeply rooted in the soul, like a ghoul appearing and disappearing...
Gracious me, just hope that the culprit will be captured and handed over to the just ones to handle... I believe that she'll suffer the guilt for the rest of her life if she isn't punished...
Watch out, god have eyes even if mortals don't have any...
Thursday, July 2, 2009
changes...
Sometime banality ensures security,
but most of the time it represents cowardliness,
unwillingness to change...
for the worse or better?
we never know...It's the risk we must take...to change...
Most cowards said: i didn't change at all, i lead the same life with the same attitude, doing the same job, eating the same food, maintaining the same lifestyle...life is indeed a bliss...
But how do they know that they do not change at all?
sign of grey hair, though a slight change is an amplification of the change itself...
The blood flows at a different rate each day...
The one obvious puzzle is:
can we experience the same emotion daily, or express the same feelings daily...?
It's a No for sure...
A tree also changes everyday...maybe some leaves have dropped...A few holes in the other bunch... Rivers carry different debris everyday with different aquatic creatures on the move...
each day different winds are born... they fade away too in different manner...
Something that never changes is the change itself...
change is a bliss...
but most of the time it represents cowardliness,
unwillingness to change...
for the worse or better?
we never know...It's the risk we must take...to change...
Most cowards said: i didn't change at all, i lead the same life with the same attitude, doing the same job, eating the same food, maintaining the same lifestyle...life is indeed a bliss...
But how do they know that they do not change at all?
sign of grey hair, though a slight change is an amplification of the change itself...
The blood flows at a different rate each day...
The one obvious puzzle is:
can we experience the same emotion daily, or express the same feelings daily...?
It's a No for sure...
A tree also changes everyday...maybe some leaves have dropped...A few holes in the other bunch... Rivers carry different debris everyday with different aquatic creatures on the move...
each day different winds are born... they fade away too in different manner...
Something that never changes is the change itself...
change is a bliss...
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