Therapeutic moments of grumbling...

writing... a channel to vent everything out... to speak the clearest of what's in my mind and yet I know confidently that nobody would mind... As I am so insignificant...However, I am infamous to the extend of being the populer geek that is bad mouthed by people and yet I felt blessed as no swords of such stabbed me in front... It is better to be ignorant of all these... And they would not be too bothered to search for me on this 'line'... as I am neither too irritating (a thorn in the flesh), nor having any major reasons for people to dislike me that much... as I did nothing to them... I shout my thoughts but they are all just about me... I don't spread rumours... I don't have cliques...I am just noticeable enough when i wanted to be noticed... and the only reason that people find me bothersome is the way i studied... hehe... no harm in that... but it is still the topic of conversation if ever they are talking about me... So I am glad... though all they thought i do the whole day is study, study and study.... I played hard too...only the ones close enough to me know... I am glad... that label of being harmless and totally studious, without any other interest except books entertained me...
What is the meaning of being un-studious and fun and all... Most of the time what they do is just hanging around doing nothing or sleeping which they find much more interesting than being able to savour books? lol...pathetic indeed... cause their sedentary statuses in the 'book of many faces' will be 'so tired, feel like doing nothing', 'or *feeling grateful* am able to wake up late because it is the weekends' or '*feeling blessed* I did nothing today'... lol, so called cool and extrovert things to do...lol....

Agree~~

请远离不舍得为你花钱的男人，一个男人不舍得为你花钱，别指望他以后赚钱会给你，这类人都是极度自私的，小气的男人同小心眼的男人同样可怕，跟这样的人在一起，没有你好日子过。

All kena~ lolz~


and he admitted that he is red....

 and so it is a good ending~

True but...

the feelings I had was genuine..
even though the stabs of wound are there... love is there...
but love will be there reserved in the deepest place...
no actions, no words... nothing could touch it...
the purest of mine will be hidden..
cause I knew I had loved with all my might...
and that I have no regrets...
and that one day the person who would regret is definitely not me,who indeed do cherish the togetherness...
and that some day someone will regret the immature way of ending things...
and that is the weakness that someone will carry throughout the whole life...
as it is in the blood... the immature ability to handle things...
and the illusion that relationships are a bed of roses and there shouldn't be any thorns at all...
and that would be the life he choose... a practical one where 'use' and 'to be used' are the only principles that guide his survival...
And I, with such experience, know that despite my heart felt emotions, 'use' and 'to be used' isn't in my context...

and that 'to love' and 'to be loved', to tolerate, to sacrifice, to willingly give  sincere devotion, to guide each other,to enlighten, to brave the ugly torments together, and yet still be able to stay in love, to receive both happiness, anger, sadness with acceptance that those are part and parcel of life are the principles I hold... that is the understanding and preparation that should have been considered before taking someone seriously as a life partner... 

or are the insights of the opposite in this human world are always in terms of 'to use' and 'to be used' context?

偶然发现《纸月亮》-Wau Bulan

Google宇中新专辑里的歌，纸月亮。。。不小心让我发现到，它竟然也是一部本地电影里的插曲。。。觉得影名很特别（得了奖）。。。所以就去读它的synopsis， 也读了一些介绍影片里一些细节的分享。。。 有点被这些采于其中的对话打动。。。有点感触。。。

“我现在背对着你，你还记得我的样子吗？”
　　“记得”
　　“一年之后？”
　　“记得”
　　“十年之后？”
　　“记得”
　　“那一辈子呢”
　　“一辈子也忘不了”

说来容易做来难，纸月亮，经不起风浪~

one more challenge...

Toughen up...
things are meant to be...
the downs first before the ups...
the sentiments...
all are but in a flicker...
no roses...
no violets...
no sunflowers...
just a heart...
which must be as pure as the lily petals...