I can't help myself...

I can't help myself believing that you somehow know what i feel...
i've got a hunch that you do stop by here, lingering...
somehow...

at such a date such a time, i started my story...

i love the ocean...i love the warm waters curling around my feet on a deserted shore...
the sand not too powdered, beads of circular fine grains...
i would imagine myself sitting soaked by the waves which throw themselves on me...
foams of frothy minerals patted against my skin...

I once heard
such a saying,
at such a time...
there is no hurry to get your soul mate just because you feel desperate...
when you choose in a hurry it isn't a soul mate...
just like those fast foods...
all you get are cholesterol....it drains you soul through the way you swell...
it fattens you with dissatisfaction...
tires you with regrets and downs...

thus, find one who will refreshes you...
who will feed you with good feelings that makes your cheeks rosy...
someone who blows life into your cobweb infested emptiness...
thus waiting would be the best solution...
to despos out there, don't rush...
or you'll get tore apart by the emptiness which deepens right to the core of your hollow as you flings light feelings to many at once...
those are mere beer which do not help once you are out of the state of drunkenness...
That's why i never touch these, in fact i loathe them...
because they cause long lasting depressions... which aren't even genuine...
i've been waiting, unbattered by weather of rumours and misunderstandings of the shallow minded, the childish ones, the pop-out-of-no-where ones who suddenly say 'I love you with all my heart'...==!

Therefore, do not misunderstand me of being an abnormal one who like those from the same gender cause i'm not!!! Although i may be the slowest to progress, i do not mind... Because i know that to find someone i truly like and vice versa is a rare historical event like those of the Romeo and Juliet - type... yet, i do not find this Shakespearean love inspiring at all...
Because i don't mind waiting for my pegasus...

P/s: it never came across my mind that of all the crushes i have, it was you whom i keep falling for all over again each time i see you... it's been such a long time...such a feeling...keep popping up, fantasies surface inconsistently but i never knew your heart... cause it is chained by some form of puzzle i do not comprehend because it is also changing...i've learned to stitch my cracks, not letting any feeling of this sort to fall out...