Weird consciousness...

I feel something stirred in my consciousness...
i dreamt about a big wave crushing over me...
some unfamiliar faces drowned beneath it... I crawled up a wall... the waves kept on crushing towards me...there wasn't anywhere to escape... it was coming from a pond... though the whole pond looked ridiculously smaller than that huge ripple... I wasn't wet... someone was pulling my leg into the water... I flap my arms...grabbing any undergrowth that i could reach at that time... All of a sudden, i was tele-ported... Some kind of desert... i woke up from the bed, which i thought was the end of my dream..but it wasn't my bed... a man was looking at me...

"having a bad dream, dear?" he asked... i was curious... and was about to ask what had happened to me, yet i found myself saying "yea, papa... it was a weird dream"... i scrambled from my bed and out of the door...i saw only sand and dust... the far horizon where the red earth meet the sun...looked like some typical sahara desert... I felt the heat eating into my skin...it was for real... i pinched myself...i felt the pain... Panicked, i ran indoors... "what's the year this year?" (Some nonsense English i spoke when i panicked)... The man eyed me weirdly..."It's 1975... Why are you asking this?" I tried to take in deep gulps of breathes... "What's going on, let me out of here..."

Then, i was really back in my own bed, just in time to hear my dad screaming, 'lazy bum, it's already 9.30am... aren't you gonna get up?' My bed sheet was ripped apart from the bed, strangled both my legs for quite sometime while i was having that nightmare... I saw a bruise on my arm but i didn't sweat... This is indeed weird... A dream within a dream???

Happy Wesak Day...

I'm so happy to be able to chant Maggala Sutta and other suttas during the Pali chanting today... And, oh my, i didn't expect that the English Hymn session is back... I love it... for the first time i feel that it is my nicest Wesak Day...

The shrine hall on the third floor of the newly built building is spaceous... Though not many devotees follow the English session, i feel at peace during that session... I hope the English session of Buddhist teaching will continue... Not many people realise that the Buddhist teachings are also passed down in English... Mum is one of the senior devotees who followed the Dhamma in English...And, I'm not afraid to admit that i prefer to learn Dhamma in English and Pali language than any other languages...

I didn't meet many friends that time..Maybe because it was too early... Anyway, the usual prayers were done... I enjoyed it very much... I thank Buddha for giving me such an inspiring experience...

Two decades...

Thanks to all my friends..It has been a great day... Every wish means a lot to me... It's already two decades since i came to this world... Had wished something for myself and my family and friends... Hope these will come through... Although my big day was perfect...something spoil it a little... No wishes from the south wind... My guess is: no hope... that is certain... Hmmm... never mind good things always come last...I'm eager...^^

ai neu...

ai neu,wad h^pd...
ai neu di ^nsr...
ju: n^ver di:d l^v mi:

ai wl ohlwaz feis di: raeliti...
aim praktikl...
ai wu:dn ri:^k ^ver egein...

It's not monsoon..yet the downpour..

It has been raining nearly everyday...
wet shoes, wet skirts, wet feet...
yet it is good to wash clothes during the rainy weather...
know why?
because nobody is there to cover your clothes line with theirs...
your dripping wet clothing won't stain those from the level below...
no scolding from warden,
no complains from other level residents...
the best part is...
you can hang as many wet clothing as u want (if you keep your laundry from more than 3 days... that's not my habit though)

downpour...
i usually love it...
but this time...
it dampens my mood...
things change as how i used to like carrot milk...
i hadn't drink it for 2 years???
opting for lime juice instead...
hmmm.... weird, but i do not miss it...

Listening...

i'm still listening...
i hear the soft tinkering sound...
in this stillness...
I started liking Owl City's songs...
they are an escapede for me, from this very reality...
i'm sick of reality...
i hate it very much...
hate those feelings...
simply hate it!!!!

i want simplicity...
not complexity...
it's not the reality as in reality that i hate..
but the reality of certain things...
could i get what i want before my birthday? i mean during my birthday?
it's actually a tiny request...
i need time out from all this...
these feelings are to overwhelming...
can i rewind the process of stepping into young adulthood?
if only Erik Erikson found the solution which could help rewind my socioemotions...

Let's enjoy Owl City's The blue fuzzy lights...