What happened today...

I saw you...
you paced down from the heights...
careful steps with organised mind...
me...
unaware of it...
the unexpected meeting after some period of me, not seeing you
my heart warmed just because of you...

It was an irresistable 'hi' and a sweet beam...
if only you would know what i feel...
the glow in my pulses...
the excitement surge, rushing by and gone in a minute as u swept off..
the colours dances all over you... streams of lightly powdered moist...
i hope you know that i need you for the positivism i needed to start every new day...

p/s: i just dreamt of a rainbow in the form of an elf...kakaka..

Sentimentals...

I like to flashback and re- collect the pieces in the past... Anything old and memorable will surely be in my safe keeping for a long time... Take for instance, my colour pencils... I still have it by my side accompanying me for almost 11 years now.. It isn't any 12 coloured set of colour pencils... It is a 30 piece colour pencil set with a zip which closes a fold - in array of colour pencils...similar to CD albums...(or what ever they call it)... perhaps i'm the odd ball among geminis...i like old stuff... antique maybe...lolzz... I've been saving this set of colours, unwilling to use it as it was my 9 year old present from my godmother... Lately, i'm being quite open minded about its usage... I coloured and draw many things with it... Most of it became shorter... I realised that now, no matter how well I save it, it will remain a useless stationary, staring at me out of the cupboard... Therefore i used it... sending colours all over whichever i like... And i feel relieved that i've started to use an item which will otherwise go to waste, as time ticks by...

An enlightenment...

hear Reverend Chattamalo's talk few days ago while doing dana...it has been a long time since i saw him... It was as rejuvenating as the ones i heard last time... If mum didn't bring me down for dana i wouldn't have known that he had returned... It was because of the opening ceremony of Gandharama near the church in town. Gandharama means garden of fragrance in Pali (Sanskrit) language... thanks to the auntie who had put in effort to build the place which functions like a shrine...ermm, not quite like a shrine, but a shelter for monks, reverends and Ajaans who come for a visit and to give spiritual guidance for us... i missed the preaching by the respectable Ajaan Brahm who flew all the way from Australia... Mum said his preaching is full of humor... I was still studying that time...No holidays... Maybe my merits are still low to have the 'yuan' to meet Ajaans... i feel that i've accumulating very less good deeds... all that i've done are so insignificant... And the deepest burden i have in my heart, the hardest to let go... it is so hard for me to better that part of me... i've tried but to no avail... i'll keep on trying till nature swallows me whole... Reverend Chattamalo actually remembered me...I'm so pleased after four years perhaps, he could still remember me... I was a mere child that time... i've always feel touched by his words, just that the tears are held back... well, curious eyes might be on me... I'm still having much of the self- consciousness in me i guess... I realised that i'm not perfect, i have flaws much more flaws than what others perceive of me... i'm still trying hard, my karma, i need to overcome those bad ones... I feel remorseful as well as hopeful... life is so short, yet we can't make the best out of it yet...not just yet... nature has it's own course but not fated as it can either be for the better or for the worse...that's what i learned but yet to be practiced...

Shoes...

i have several pair of shoes... sport shoes i mean... kind of used to the wearing of these instead of high heels... i had enough of 2 inch high court shoes that i wear daily for class...my heels are sore after the whole day of being suspended between the ground and the tips of my toes...

I've just saw a pair of newly designed ones in a TV reality show... it looks sporty and casual at the same time... perfect for me who is contented with just a pair of presentable shoes which could be wore in all occasions... This is the first time i feel that i need to own those... Yet, i think it would just remain a fantasy... because the price is 115 USD... @@... poor students like me couldn't afford such expensive ones... i didn't really mind the shape - up function of it actually..i just mind the design which suits my taste... huhuhu... if only the price isn't such a whooping rm500 plus minus...i would have bought it...



this shoe make my mouth water... i feel that it makes the wearer look sleek and trendy... although it is not with shoe laces... I hope that they'll come up with affordable version of these soon...

Sometimes...

Sometimes, paving the way for wonderful dreams needs aspirations and perseverence... Actually it always does... If i can get away from banal routine into an adventure of escapade... I'm willing to do so... that would be my aim in the future four or five years from now?

Maybe someday, i can do what i really want to do in life... with no mental torturing problems but peace at mind memories... i just need to play that tiny niche in this world - to explore it...

I believe...

I believe only in long distance family relationships and friendships, but no that particular relationship... I love my family and my friends in their own way...

How could the period of not seeing each other for four - five years make the heart feel fonder? I do not believe in that... Photos are nothing, these are just stagnant silhouette and sometimes irregularities of its effect which makes certain things look perfect... These only cause affections... How naive the person can be... The one is still not matured enough, although older... No interaction... nothing to show one's personality and changes... Do not be too desperate, or you'll hold the wrong hands for the rest of your life... It's the desperate feelings sometimes that make people blind not love itself, because true love can be felt when it really comes...

I believe there is always a pair, or even not, some achievements and goals to be achieved... Besides coupling up, there are still many other things which are more valuable... Not to say that i'm a sour grape...It's just that the timing isn't right, the feeling isn't there, but the wrong person is there... Yet, the one thought appearance create the failure... No, it is not that... it is the interaction that should be more when realising the special someone... Not first sights or umpteen sights... that is merely a delusion of feelings...

It is like when a thirsty person who saw the mirage in the distance... sometimes it shorten your life faster... Take things easy and try to look around... there are other things that we might have wanted to fulfill... for me it's traveling... I want to travel to various places... getting the chance to witness nature and phenomenas that i could set my eyes on... the mind needs to be broaden... that is truly life... i've come to understand it...

Love drunk those who are too anxious, but aspire those who are really compatible... that is love, it does not suffocate but refresh...

P/S: to a senior who will never see this post (because he is blinded)

About my hard drive...

500 pics lost in the midst of circuits, never to be retrieved again... all those memories, become lost memories because of my ignorance... should save it in the D drive... I should do that...Regretted my negligence... although my assigns are saved lucky enough for me to hand in my drafts on time, yet i still mourn over my pictures... songs can be downloaded, information can be found again, but not the memories except a few scattered on facebook and friendster as well as from friends pen driver... Thank god i still did not put the 300 pics from my hand phone into the laptop, or they too will be vanished forever...

Twice had it condemned... defective screen and now the hard drive... i wish i had bought other model... Worse production i've ever came across, merely a toddler which is sold 1 year ago to me, the unfortunate owner of it, and i'm embarrassed to admit it... So, the next lappy should be a mac book or a Vaio then, what do you think? (but these are kind of expensive!!T.T)

Boiled Seeds...

plucking the seeds i do not know...
scatter it in the flower bed and tendered them...
What beautiful colours they'll have...

Imaginations after imaginations layered the soil with fertilisers...
how the worms burrowed under the dirt, casting fertile lands to seeds within...

I saw the boiled seeds...They'll never grow... ever... that made the little boy King...

Good Feelings...

I feel so happy that each and every one of my friends did so well in their STPM... It's hard to believe that they are also starting their tertiary studies soon in the Universities... I pray for every single one to get what he or her wanted be it scholarships or targetted IPTAs... I wish you all, all the best...^^... Keep in touch yea, although it is quite hard now... Looking forward to see you all...

Rainbow showers the land with crimson essences that contains layers of fragrants within...

May all of us grow up with the fighting spirit to chase own's dreams...