Beaches...the place where we often visit to whisper gossips and feelings...
It's the place of childhood and adolescence,
and i couldn't believe that it weaves our present memories too...
It is the place of relaxation... and laughter...
It is as peaceful as it is as before...
though the salty water, not a very clear blue... marks our presence...
the place we have been, are being, and will be...
Great waves engulf our voices... I believe these laughter are still present in those waters...
Waiting to be washed ashore again...
Holidays allow these to be grinded into the soft sands... each speck... grinded with our happy sounds...
imprinted with our footprints... the stain of it makes the shores glow in awe...
Monday, June 14, 2010
A Little Touched...
I saw what you have posted... Thank you for your concern and feelings for me... thank you, but I've always see you as a normal friend... i could feel what you are going through now, but it is not up to me to accept or not, because, i could just say that you came at the wrong time... Mainly, you are not the right person at the moment... I know the waiting is bitter...I experienced that too, far more longer than you... waiting for someone... Now i realised that this world is full of people who are waiting for a miracle, a coincidence...
It isn't wrong waiting...Just that i realised that waiting for too long a time doesn't bring any changes... All these waitings boil down to nothing... So, i just hope that you could stop waiting for me... I do not deserve that...because i've waited, and i'm tired of it... What you have expressed so far do touched me a little, but i know that it is just a temporary one and nothing else...I always see you as a normal friend, not more not less... You aren't even close enough to be my besties but, i do cherish your friendship...I feel that there is someone out there far more better than me...I still want to advise you that waiting for months is a little too long, move on...i'm also moving on... I don't trust feelings anymore...Now that i find myself moving on much faster than my old self... I've learnt my lesson... Moving on faster creates lesser hurt feelings.... Giving up faster makes me happier... Because i consider you as my friend, i do not want to hurt your feelings... Even if i accept, i think the breakup will also be not too far away... So, it is better not to accept right?
It takes the right person with the right personality at the right time and the right place and the right feelings to be cherished... And that is rare...
I think i'm starting to live up the Gemini trait although i hate it very much... I have to be a little selfish to safe keep my dignity and keep myself going...This is life...
It isn't wrong waiting...Just that i realised that waiting for too long a time doesn't bring any changes... All these waitings boil down to nothing... So, i just hope that you could stop waiting for me... I do not deserve that...because i've waited, and i'm tired of it... What you have expressed so far do touched me a little, but i know that it is just a temporary one and nothing else...I always see you as a normal friend, not more not less... You aren't even close enough to be my besties but, i do cherish your friendship...I feel that there is someone out there far more better than me...I still want to advise you that waiting for months is a little too long, move on...i'm also moving on... I don't trust feelings anymore...Now that i find myself moving on much faster than my old self... I've learnt my lesson... Moving on faster creates lesser hurt feelings.... Giving up faster makes me happier... Because i consider you as my friend, i do not want to hurt your feelings... Even if i accept, i think the breakup will also be not too far away... So, it is better not to accept right?
It takes the right person with the right personality at the right time and the right place and the right feelings to be cherished... And that is rare...
I think i'm starting to live up the Gemini trait although i hate it very much... I have to be a little selfish to safe keep my dignity and keep myself going...This is life...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Little Nightingale...
I remembered a pretty little tale i've read somewhere... Some kind of love story..but what made me remembered that particular story vividly was the storyline:
The little nightingale sacrificed its own life...
To witness true love, the nightingale sacrificed its little soul...
It pressed its little chest to the thorn of the white rose...
Bursting into a lovely string of melody, it sang its heart out...
Blood dripped from its chest, soaking its feathers, staining the stalk of the rose...
It sang all night... as the drops of fluid miraculously flowed upward towards the petals of the white roses...
Slowly, petal by petal, they turned pink, and then into a rosy red...
As dawn peeked from the mountains beyond, the nightingale sang its last note and collapsed, with the thorn still stucked so brutally on its chest...
Yet the rose was a wonder of transformation...
It was a pure rosy rose... The colour that the poor peasant boy promised to give the one he loved-a princess...
The nightingale's feathery body no longer felt warm, it was stone cold although the day was getting warmer,the last strand of heat was in the last drop of blood that was eventually sucked up by the rose... the only stalk with rose so rosy...The little body was also pale as all the blood had been drained from it...
The peasant boy plucked the rose that contains the nightingale's passion and blood and presented it to the princess...
The princess took it, a glow of happiness lighted her entire face..she caress it so lovingly, admiring the colour that she had wanted so badly to be on her favourite flower... She turned her back on the peasant boy, forgetting about him entirely and ran back into her palace, eager to show her dad and all her waiting ladies.... The peasant boy was left on the same spot, stunned and crushed...Disappointment filled his heart... He remained on the spot till midday... Then he looked towards the pathetic looking body of the nightingale who perished to fulfill his chasing of true love... The peasant boy whispered with sorrow so great that droplets of tears dropped off nearby flowers... 'Little bird, your sacrifice was great, and i appreciate it very much, but i felt sad as your sacrifice did not reap what it had intended to...There is no true love on her behalf...'
He buried it among the beds of roses and left... Never to be spotted again...
I think this is a fable about the origin of red roses...irony of being the symbol of true love...
The little nightingale sacrificed its own life...
To witness true love, the nightingale sacrificed its little soul...
It pressed its little chest to the thorn of the white rose...
Bursting into a lovely string of melody, it sang its heart out...
Blood dripped from its chest, soaking its feathers, staining the stalk of the rose...
It sang all night... as the drops of fluid miraculously flowed upward towards the petals of the white roses...
Slowly, petal by petal, they turned pink, and then into a rosy red...
As dawn peeked from the mountains beyond, the nightingale sang its last note and collapsed, with the thorn still stucked so brutally on its chest...
Yet the rose was a wonder of transformation...
It was a pure rosy rose... The colour that the poor peasant boy promised to give the one he loved-a princess...
The nightingale's feathery body no longer felt warm, it was stone cold although the day was getting warmer,the last strand of heat was in the last drop of blood that was eventually sucked up by the rose... the only stalk with rose so rosy...The little body was also pale as all the blood had been drained from it...
The peasant boy plucked the rose that contains the nightingale's passion and blood and presented it to the princess...
The princess took it, a glow of happiness lighted her entire face..she caress it so lovingly, admiring the colour that she had wanted so badly to be on her favourite flower... She turned her back on the peasant boy, forgetting about him entirely and ran back into her palace, eager to show her dad and all her waiting ladies.... The peasant boy was left on the same spot, stunned and crushed...Disappointment filled his heart... He remained on the spot till midday... Then he looked towards the pathetic looking body of the nightingale who perished to fulfill his chasing of true love... The peasant boy whispered with sorrow so great that droplets of tears dropped off nearby flowers... 'Little bird, your sacrifice was great, and i appreciate it very much, but i felt sad as your sacrifice did not reap what it had intended to...There is no true love on her behalf...'
He buried it among the beds of roses and left... Never to be spotted again...
I think this is a fable about the origin of red roses...irony of being the symbol of true love...
Monday, June 7, 2010
Observing the Thought...
These few days have been moments of tranquility for me... I've gone for Dhamma talks for three consecutive days... It was a very good piece of fate to have meet the Sanghas... 23 Bhikkhus came to Bodhi Vihara... Heard Ajahn Hai's preaching in Hokkien...An eye opener... I learnt a lot more in terms of the sequence of events happening during the passing down of Buddha's teachings...
There is something very important for all of us to learn... To observe our self: our frustrations, our anger, our joy, our peace at mind... Why do we feel all these and the reasons behind the ignition of these...
Life is actually a delusion... a dream... when we die, it is actually the end of a dream and the starting of another... Thus to break this wheel, it needs endless perseverance...no pilfering... i like it when Ajahn liken life to a dream...Something like William Shakespeare's liking of life to the players on stage... but dream is more of a delusion...and i prefer this description as we bring with us our consciousness after death, as we awake to yet another dream when we are reborn...
There is something very important for all of us to learn... To observe our self: our frustrations, our anger, our joy, our peace at mind... Why do we feel all these and the reasons behind the ignition of these...
Life is actually a delusion... a dream... when we die, it is actually the end of a dream and the starting of another... Thus to break this wheel, it needs endless perseverance...no pilfering... i like it when Ajahn liken life to a dream...Something like William Shakespeare's liking of life to the players on stage... but dream is more of a delusion...and i prefer this description as we bring with us our consciousness after death, as we awake to yet another dream when we are reborn...
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hot Cold...
Celebrated friend's birthday.. at first with laughter but afterwards with worry... why? because of the one message... If there is anything to do with the UOA stuff... I'll be very very nervous... Especially now, as the waiting for my finals result is such a torture... it is just 2 weeks after the exam... yet, the determining date is somewhere between tomorrow and Monday... Nobody is sure of the official release of it...
My emotions now: hot cold hot cold hot cold... keep changing... i do not know whether to be nervous or what...
恨你的冷漠，恨你作作的不理，你想要我怎么样。。。最讨厌你热情后却冷淡地对我。。。你到底心里想什麽。。。我很累，不想再期望什么了。。。我只能说自己笨，白等了。。。弄到自己伤痕累累。。。我肯定你猜得到我心里所想的。。。只是你选择耍我，耍了一个又一个的圈圈。。。你不累吗？
My emotions now: hot cold hot cold hot cold... keep changing... i do not know whether to be nervous or what...
恨你的冷漠，恨你作作的不理，你想要我怎么样。。。最讨厌你热情后却冷淡地对我。。。你到底心里想什麽。。。我很累，不想再期望什么了。。。我只能说自己笨，白等了。。。弄到自己伤痕累累。。。我肯定你猜得到我心里所想的。。。只是你选择耍我，耍了一个又一个的圈圈。。。你不累吗？
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