The Child in Me...

I have longed to go somewhere where i could release the child in me... It has been a long time since I feel like a kid again... My parents brought me to Genting Highlands... Okay, i know it is lame, but seriously, i have never been there before... I liked the outdoor theme park, but couldn't play many of the attractions because of due consideration towards my parents...They couldn't take too much of the excitement... So, i make do with two moderately exciting ones and a leisurely one...I'll definitely find a chance to go again, this time with friends who could really go crazy with... This does not mean that i did not enjoy this trip with my parents, i love it because it is my latest family holiday trip after such a long time... The air is chilly all the time... Thank goodness mum brought along 3 warm clothing... My parents said this experience would be a good short practice for me to adapt to cooler climate next year... It is indeed fun with parents too as they are quite sporting...^^

Hope...

Hope - it is the driven that could spin wonderful happiness and energy among all... Yet, could be crashed because of the unresponsive result.. Is every single item yearned for, shattered so easily in a nick of time... Nothing left to be said upon sight only hollow frames where pictures should be, laid crooked on the worn out folds of the wallpaper... are we so easily deceived by false hope? How is it so that waiting patiently and without any grumble do not do any good... should it continue till at last the corn hardens and there is no choice but to choose the choice?

I came across a nice quirky verse...
"It couldn't be too good to be true. Because good is always true and only a few true happenings are good..." It gives me a thought that people do not really believe when their luck starts rolling, they usual think that after every calm tide, there will be a storm...

My Pace...

Everything has been going well so far... It is a great holidays, at least it ease my stress for a bit although it has been pouring non-stop since the Monsoon Cup was on... A tough fight for the participants this year i would say under sudden rain and shine conditions... I was hoping that something that I had hoped for a long time come true this year though it is going to end very soon... Still, my wish had not been fulfilled... Guess i should wait till the end of this year to conclude it..

I find pleasure in doing stuffs i had not done for quite a long time such as drawing... Building my passion back... Days passed by so silently i barely knew that it is already 12th today... Still hoping that something more exciting could happened... I love adventures... However, i could not really expect much because of the sleepy hollow condition in this part of the country...

I have observed insects carrying on their lives... The ants are forever dragging along dead insect carcasses to their nest. Moving back and forth... No wonder the soil is always filled with their footsteps... Thus, the soil itself become alive with all the movements going on it... Bees collect their usual 'milk', the sweet nectar... 'milking' them from jutted flowers overflowed with pollen granules... the wind at the back of my compound was as fresh as the scent of meadows... no matter where i travel, i always find the wind that blew at this very spot, the most comforting breeze... Dad had moulded it into a miniature farm/an orchard, looks like half half to me... sadly, there are no more rambutan trees... dad chopped them off cause they were threatening to claw off the roof top with their branches... now the ample space was filled with maize plants and banana trees... not that bad... but i missed the smell of soil under the rambutan trees... a little soothing and magical smell... the soil was fat that time... it degrades now that there are no more shady coverings... Never mind that, as i am able to taste dad's crop- sweet corn which ripen just in time after i came back... yum yum...^^

freshly plucked sweet corn


dad's miniature blend of orchard + plantation farm

Another unpleasant encounter...

Why can't all restaurants and tuck shops be made non-smoking areas? Seriously if this matter could not be solve in the nearest future, the life span of Malaysians will definitely be shorten, all because of second - hand inhalation of the carcinogenic gas...
Lunch today was indeed a torture today... Though at first it was quite a pleasant meal... My family and I were having a very simple meal at a economic rice shop after settling some matters... My appetite was big because it has been ages since i get to eat at the shop again... The first few mouthfuls aroused my nostalgia... the rest was 'msg-ed' with cigarette smokes... My coughs accompanied each mouthfuls... the guys beside my table were smoking away after their meals... Mum said they were like chimneys blowing out waste smokes... affecting people around them... I really hate smokers... They thought that they helped by smoking all the cigarettes in the world which would save the others' lives, however they are actually shorten it even further... Useless smokers, burning their money which could have been used for better purposes for mere pleasure which endangers both their own and the others' lives... No wonder most smokers live longer than their spouses... This is because all the puffs have been filtered by their love ones...
Give us back a cleaner environment...

Emotional Memories...

You told me not to forget you... I said "yea, I'll remember you as the one who ****** ****** ** ** ****". You looked sad because you wanted me to remember your name and you. I couldn't tell you even for the last time that I could never forget you, coz i really like you... That's me, i couldn't let my guards down, to pour my feelings out except to spill it in my blog which is a non - existing knowledge in you... I really cherish the last few moments, your smile and you in person... I'm satisfied with that - the unexpected chance to hang out with you even for just a couple of hours... I promise, I'll never forget you... You have given me so little to remember yet it's rich in memories... I hope you too, will not forget me... I dreaded the moment of your departure, waving to you with a smile so carefully conceived - a very strong emotion deep inside... You- perhaps a friendship sadness lingering which, fade with time... May you be happy, when you find your glow... I'll be glad for you... Coz when you're happy, I'll be...

I hope there will still be a spark when i meet you again... sincerely, me...

'great timing'...

Seriously speaking...I busted my first paper today... There are a lot to write, but the time constraint was a little too much... What does the system expect us to do in 2 hours? 4 essays, 5 structured which require explanation... It's so 'cool'... Maybe i should have been categorized in the 'slow learner' category... I did jot down my points in the paper but it just remained in the task paper, not the actual essay paper... Having two lecturers shouting at me to stop was, well, surprisingly did not embarrassed me... I continued for some time shortly after they shouted...That's me, i'm actually rebellious... Cause the fact is that, they allow us to start on our papers 10 minutes later, and asked us to pass it up so much earlier...

After this experience, i doubt that i'll get a very fantastic marks... it's way down below from what i've previously gotten...It's not that we did not revise, it is just that this system wants our brains to learn, memorizing, analyse and interpret it just like a computer... Computers think fast, or should i say they do not need thinking at all... They just show whatever information that we wanted in just one click... Our brains do not work in one click for sure... We need time... automacity or not, that's not the point... cause information that we learn could never come out as what they want us to do in such a short time... How are we supposed to give implicit and detailed answers in just a nick of time... That's why i hate this 'fast food' era... Everything we do needs to be instant, and efficient... But how to be efficient? we'll be if the questions are given to us earlier, that's if they want a detailed result...
We have the knowledge...but i guess that's why all the geniuses failed under this system...They drop out and yet could create wonders and success..if only they are given time just then in school or higher learning institutions... They want instant information and instant working power... Just look at some of the very advanced population, suicides are high... why? cause they can't work like a machine, and they think that they are inferiors because of that....
knowledge which couldn't be spilled out is indeed torturing... looking at all the blank lines helplessly as they are swept away... great system of operation we have nowadays... and it's an irony too, cause these papers test on our knowledge of how to enhance the younger generations' learning and acquisition of knowledge... How would they expect us to give very humanistic ways of learning and teaching strategies if we ourselves are victims of the non-humanistic situation? That's when the era when the creation and formation of a bunch of human machines come will they realise that they are making machines out of humans... Only the tough ones who knows how to be like a machine can survive... god bless them, cause they'll never know the meaning of understanding... the affective development would certainly be minimized... I thought that the core problem would have been solved as some have realised the insufficiency of time... but the system carries on with the main aim of eliminating the 'slow learners' and 'slow producers' even though they have intrinsic motivation...


I wonder what else does the world want from us? do they want to remove the time span from us as well? i salute the drop outs as they have intrinsic motivation to survive and succeed even though the system abandoned them... that's the freedom of having time all to ourselves which promotes inspiration... cause they DID survive without it...

20.10.2010

My first time deleting a post that i write at midnight...It's an anniversary for me...because what that has been special will always be buried in that deleted one... 20.10.2010 will never come again...never again appear in the history of dates... just like what i wrote... never again to be retrieved once i had deleted...